


Cake

by Insert_something_clever



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Bottom Phil Lester, Breeding, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Hybrids, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mild Smut, Top Dan Howell
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2019-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-20 14:17:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14262825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Insert_something_clever/pseuds/Insert_something_clever
Summary: “Sweet”Phil crumbles internally at the sound of his voice, smooth and easy like the blues. There was a husky drawl to it that dripped with dominance. It was something that Phil could never imagine himself accomplishing naturally. And it was dark, and it was powerful and it scared Phil to think of what he could possibly be in the presence of on this frigid winter night.A predator maybe, something that was just as likely to gobble Phil up as it was to fuck him silly.





	1. Red Velvet

**Author's Note:**

> So I credit a bit of this idea to a really fantastic piece of artwork by an artist called Maddox that depicts Phil with antlers. Really pretty concept you guys should check it out. I also credit the idea to my insane brain and the things that I think about when I'm zoned out on a tumblr page lol. Also I blame this on how soft and adorable Phil has been lately, like seriously.
> 
> I wanted to do one of these because I like the concept a lot. I have so many idea's for it and most of all I really like the idea of building a relationship from the ground up afterwards. Domestic and fluff are in my blood, that being said I think the first chapter is pretty much smut. 
> 
> Okay I'm done talking now. I really hope you like it.

The night air was chilly, but then again it was mid-December in London, so it would be. The moon was warm though, it sent comforting waves through his aching bones. The dirt beneath him is rough and dry and the pebbles dig into his skin like razor blades. The blood from the cut on his knee was drying, Phil could still feel the pain from the tumble.   

He couldn’t for the life of him remember how he had ended up here in the first place, but he always got a bit distorted when his heat hits him. One thing was clear and that was he thinks needs it bad now. The relief.   

He couldn’t remember why he had decided to leave his flat that night anyways. What could have possibly possessed him to do something so mad when he knew he was so close to the beginning of a heat?

Oh yes, Phil remembered now. He had that itch again, that unstable desire to bake something, one of his many unhealthy compulsions to date. He had been unable to stop himself from barricading himself in his kitchen with every bakeware he owned and trying to make something new. He felt it helped to distract himself from his compulsions, at least, until ignoring the need became unbearable.         

He had ran out of eggs though and the recipe had called for more, so Phil decided to go out and get some.

He had made it out of his flat and to the shop down the street, he had been on his way back home when the switch had flipped, and his stomach became a big burning pot of insatiable need. And Sex, sex, sex, sex was all he could think about. He dropped his bags right then and there and stumbled into the line of trees on the side of the road. Perhaps it was the fact that dirt and earth and anything resembling a forest had always brought him a certain level of comfort.        

And maybe it was the fact that it reminded him of the grotto behind his family home, the hidden lake and the fields of lush yellow flowers, or maybe it was just the fact that Phil was half creature and sprouted antlers from his head and it felt natural to curl up in a ball within the dirt and whither among the rough patchy grass as his stomach spasmed and he leaked between his thighs a thick and slippery substance.

And already Phil could tell that his survival odds were not good. The night air was full of strange sounds and he could tell that there were people out and about. He couldn’t say he would be able to stop any advances in his current state if someone were to approach him at this point. He needed to get back home where he could barricade himself within his flat. But for the life of him, Phil could not get his face from out the pile of dirt he was lied upon, or his body up from his huddled position on the ground. He was defensive and aching with a need, he was leaking so much it would no doubt ruin his jeans again. He had no idea why he always seemed to flow so heavy, it was more than usual for a heat.   

He has always made sure to be inside his flat when it hit him, it was just today. Phil had made a mistake today and it seemed like this one mistake would no doubt end up costing him.

Phil had always pushed off meeting someone because he was afraid of what it would turn into. Sex, breeding, and having kids. It had scared him immensely which is why he had refused to allow Mum and Dad’s to pair him up with anyone when he was younger. He had told them he could meet someone on his own, after he finished University and fell into a good career.  He had hoped in part that he could hold it off for so long that he ended up reaching the age when it was impossible to go through heats anymore. He had known, deep down, that it would end up disappointing his parents, but Phil was selfish and petty, and he didn’t want to be just another stomach to fill.

They were rare, the ones with willowy antlers like him. He was tall and lanky with soft bones and plush skin and his antlers were frail. One of the weakest hybrids for sure, a dying breed maybe, and in a few years, there would probably be none left like Phil.   Of course, Phil was no helping that long term goal today, withering about out in the open like he was.

_‘I’m going to die today’_

Phil’s ears had picked him up first, he heard the soft pace of his feet as he slowly makes his way towards him. His eye had then caught the outline of him, a tall figure blocking out the light of the moon, and finally Phil’s nose could smell the musk, subtle but potent. It reminded Phil of embers and scorched bark.     

Phil had felt his presence, like an overbearing pressure at the back of his skull. It was something that sunk deep into his body and instantly made him feel as if he was currently taking up space in a world that the figure owned. Every inch of it, every rock or tree branch. Even large parts of Phil.

_‘Slow, quiet, breathe. It will be okay.’_

Instinctually he curls his body further into itself and pretends that he wasn’t threatened at all by the stranger’s proximity.

Leaves crinkle underneath feet, and Phil was full of overwhelming dread at the prospect of what would happen when he got close enough to touch him. It was scary to think that there was also a very small part of him that was anticipating it. The same part that the pain was coming from, the deep burning in his belly and between his thighs. The need.

**_‘Yes, yes come closer, breed me’_ **

_‘No stay away, please!’_

Such contradicting thoughts within his own head, Phil knew which ones were genuinely his and which was the heat talking. He wished he had control of his body at this point, perhaps then he could have willed himself to escape before it was too late.

But no, it was already too late.

Phil had his eyes clutched closed then but he could hear the creature kneeling beside him. And it was quiet for a moment, and all that could really be heard were Phil’s whines and irregular breathing. The heat in his belly was so painful in was nearly unbearable. There was only one thing that could really help it at this point and the prospect of it made Phil’s knees shiver. He needed sex and he needed it bad.  

It was unexpected, the warmth of a large hand against his face and Phil instinctively leaned towards it.

“P-p-please” He manages to stammer, and, in his voice, he could hear the desperation. Though he wasn’t too clear on what he was really asking for in that moment.  

A hush reaches his ears.

“What’s a pitiful thing like you doing out in the open like this?” His voice was warm and smooth, it reminded Phil of tea drowned in honey. “Don’t you know what the stench of your heat will do to people?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, really” Phil whimpers in response.

“Well it’s okay now I suppose, I’ve got you” His hands were big and warm. One around Phil’s frail wrist and the other against his back, and he was quickly scooped up into a solid lap. Phil refuses to open his eyes still, stubbornly determined to keep them firmly closed, even when he feels the male’s face slips into the nook of his neck. The male inhales deeply, and Phil could tell he was taking in all the musk. The wetness between Phil’s thighs was extremely potent and there was a grumble of satisfaction that slips from the stranger lips when he catches it.    

“Sweet”

Phil crumbles internally at the sound of his voice, smooth and easy like the blues. There was a husky drawl to it that dripped with dominance. It was something that Phil could never imagine himself accomplishing naturally. And it was dark, and it was powerful and it scared Phil to think of what he could possibly be in the presence of on this frigid winter night.  

A predator maybe, something that was just as likely to gobble Phil up as it was to fuck him silly.

_‘Don’t kill me’_

Shivering, he was shivering so bad, and he couldn’t really tell if it was more from the lust or the fear.

“Not out here” Phil stammers nervously, because honestly all he wanted right now was not to be mated on the side of the road. “I want to go home, I want…”

**Sex.**

The stranger didn’t respond right away. It seemed to be dragging on way too long, but at the same time not long enough. Phil was nearly pulled into a false sense of security while he waited for something else to happen.

“Where do you live?”

Phil is surprised at first, but that surprise doesn’t last long, it simmers down, and Phil is just afraid again. With a shaky breath, he tells him where his flat was located.

Phil was hoisted up into the air and the stranger was taking him out of the tree line. Phil felt like a doll, unsure of where to put himself he just allows himself to hang limp. And in the back of his mind, Phil had enough sense to note that when they stepped back out onto the pavement he could feel the presence of no other creatures around them, even though at this point Phil’s was dripping so much and the odor was so strong that it was nearly impossible for there to just be one with him right now.   

But maybe he shouldn’t question it, maybe he should be glad he wasn’t being fought over or passed around from creature to creature.

It takes Phil sometime to remember where they were going, maybe he would have noticed sooner if he wasn’t so lost in his heat now. He knows his own building though, the familiar smell of peeling paint and untampered gas from a faulty pipe somewhere. He notes when they get to his door though, thinks vaguely that he was asked about a key and he had reached into his jumper and pulled it out for him, allowed the predator to take it and use it to gain entry into his flat.

Unsure though, how they really got inside, or where they were going until Phil finds himself in his own room, being put down on his own bed.

For some reason Phil had chosen to finally open his eyes, and honestly, he was staring at the most attractive creature he has ever laid his eyes upon. The man was tall and thin but also broad in all the right places. He had healthy skin and thick curly hair swept over to the side, elegantly dissolved. He wore dark jeans and a dark tee shirt, which Phil noted didn’t at all seem like proper entire for a chilly night like this.  

Phil had felt his stomach clench, warm butterflies taking flight in his stomach cavern. He could feel his face grow hot at the mere idea of all the thoughts swirling around in his head now. Insanely sexual and inappropriate. The need, deep within him was driving forward most of the sensations he was feeling right now, but some of it…a very small part of it was all Phil.  

The stranger, Phil couldn’t really tell what he was right away, something he had never quiet seen before surely. He had the strangest aura around him, it was dark and bleak. Frightening and it scared Phil to an extent. The way his deep brown eyes were looking at him though. Phil knew then that he had no chance of getting away with all his limbs intact.

“Dan” The stranger supplies a name without Phil even having to ask. He sounded gentle, clearly from the south side of England. His voice was posh and sophisticated, and it made Phil feel simple and northern.

His expression was unreadable, Phil had simply no idea what he was thinking.

 “I’m Phil” Phil replies without even really being asked, his legs wobblily.

 “Hi Phil” Dan responds in a tone of voice so gentle it was barely picked up by Phil at all. “It’s nice to meet you”

“You too” Phil says softly, not wanting to break the light air settling between them. It was so mystical and unexpected. The tranquility.

It felt nice, there was something about Dan’s presence that along with frightening felt right and comfortable and Phil felt safe within it. He wanted to stay here, to be a part of Dan and his calmness. And Phil realized deep down how wrong that was.

“I’m afraid” Phil states the obvious. What bothered him the most about the prospect of what was about to happen here. He could feel tears building up in his eyes, beneath his contacts it felt wet and itchy.

Dan snorts, and with it breaks the peace between them entirely. “You’d be stupid not to be”

Phil bites his lower lip, feeling the first tear slip out. “I don’t even know anything about you”

“What do you want to know?” Dan sounded so casual it was insane, unbothered by Phil’s hyperactive response. Why wasn’t he reacting as emotionally as Phil was? “If it makes you feel better I’ll tell you”

Humoring him, that was all Dan was doing and nothing more.

A dry feeling settles in Phil’s throat. He had so many things he wanted to know he didn’t entirely know where to start. “I don’t know…how old are you, where do you work? I feel like I should know who you are if we’re going to…”

“Fuck?”

Phil flinches at the rough language. “Yeah…”

“We’re going to fuck either way Phil. You’re leaking through your pants”

“I know” He whispers, reminded of the heat pooling within him. “I would just feel better if I knew more”

“Would you really?”

“Yes”

Dan takes a deep breath in, “I’m twenty-five” He starts, looking at Phil and nothing else. “I work at a record store and I hate it. I hate most things though, I’m unoptimistic and a bit of an asshole. In all honesty I am the worst person you will probably ever meet but I’m funny so that kind of makes up for it…”

“I’m twenty-nine” Phil mumbles, feeling embarrassed to admit it out loud. “I work in a bakery, I like a lot of things, like plants and flowers and putting on warm clothes as soon as they come out of the dryer, I’m also clumsy and a bit dumb”

Phil feels like if anything his small spiel will convince Dan of how sorry of a creature Phil was and turn him off of the idea of breeding him. If anything, though, it was the complete opposite.

A crease forms in his cheek when he smiles, a deep dimple.  “Clearly, I did find you on the bloody side of the road of all places”

Dan reminding Phil of that brings on the panic again and for some reason Phil thinks that now was the appropriate time try and escape. He gets his ability to move back and he handles it by attempting to scramble off the bed. He manages to make it not even onto his knees and hands before he was tugged back down onto the bed. Dan doesn’t take long straddling him after that.

“It’s too late to be trying any of that now, Phil”

“I’m sorry” Phil mumbles. He wasn’t even too sure what he was apologizing for in the first place, but he thought that he should. He couldn’t help the tinge of fear that slides out from his mouth.

A gust of air hits the back of Phil’s neck, something resembling a laugh but not quiet. It was too somber and dry, like an old book being slammed shut and dust flying out from between its pages.

Phil liked to think he was a very happy person.

He tried to be, at least. The embodiment of the sun. Bright and aluminous, even in the face of trial. He believed wholeheartedly in putting good vibes out into the world, in always being pleasant. Even when the world around him was less than good.

Every sour predicament it seems, he gets himself into because he was this way. He was a magnet for dreadful things. His life had been less than good in a lot of ways, but still he remained happy.

He thought that maybe if he did that it would make a difference, there was so much negativity in the world, he thought that maybe if he put out some happiness as well it would end up balancing itself out in the long run.

“You don’t need to be sorry” Dan response, his lips gentler then expected as they run across Phil’s unprotected throat. The kisses continue for a while, sweet and gentle, again nearly lulling Phil into a false sense of security, then just like that it shifts.  

Just a small nip at first, then teeth dragging, then at the base of his spine, just above his vertebra teeth sink in and bite down hard.

Phil yanks away, feeling pain, but also a spark of excitement that shoots down low to his groin, one he is nearly ashamed to admit he feels. Dan hushes again, soft yet assertive and Phil stills naturally, waiting and feeling for Dan’s mouth again, this time his hot tongue against Phil’s skin, soothing over the bite.

It was then in the back of his mind that Phil finally realizes what Dan was, and it was in fact a predator like he had first thought. The way he was roughly marking his territory with his sharp fangs. It was obvious.

“You’re like a bear” Phil mumbles.

Dan pulls away for another laugh. “Funny pair we make huh? I should be mauling you, not fucking you”

Phil did in fact agree, Dan should be taring at his throat, not lapping up all his wounds.

Over the next few moments as clothes were pealed from his body Phil learns to get use to the tough, painful bites. All over his back, Phil could feel himself bleeding, some parts already bruised, and for some reason, his thighs dripping more wet than ever before.

And if felt just as good as it did bad, and that was a worrying realization.

“You’re being so good, Phil” Reassurance, for some reason Phil felt a burning bundle of pride in his chest from the complement.

“T-thank you”

He wanted to be good, he liked being good.

His jeans and underwear go, soaked through at this point it doesn’t much matter, and Phil was on his back again, thighs spread and Dan’s mouth on his inner knee.

Dan moves down to his stomach and his teeth bite down a little bit lighter here.

“I can fill it up” He mumbles out of nowhere, making Phil frazzle with embarrassment.  He didn’t even have to ask what he was talking about, Phil just knew. “We can have two at a time”

“I can’t…that’s too many”

One was hard enough. His Mum had such a tough time having Phil and he had been two weeks premature.

“They’ll fit” Dan replies then, self-assured. Confident. “Not today, though. Today you’re just for me”

Phil fidgets slightly. Warmed by every kiss.

Dan gets to his inner thighs, which were a mess of wet at this point. Phil was so horny his entire body was convulsing and Dan’s tongue against him wasn’t helping any. Sounds Phil had never been quite aware that he could make were slipping out of his mouth right now.

“You drip so much Phil” He could hear Dan mumble against the soft expansion of his sensitive skin. “And it all taste like sugar”

Phil could barely help himself at this point, he was so overcome with feeling and desire, he just wanted to fuck and be fucked by the wild animal he was coming to know Dan as.

After all, Dan feels strong and he sounds so smart and he looks of a beauty that was unearthly. The inner animal within Phil moans at the prospect of mating with him and carrying his babies. In this dreary day and age Dan could offer Phil and their offspring protection from everything that scared him.    

“Dan” Phil could hear himself whisper, quiet. He didn’t want to intrude, didn’t want to seem too demanding but he was reaching his breaking point.

“Yes?” Dan’s ears had picked him up, he seemed to have remarkably good hearing.

Phil doesn’t know how to convey what he wants at first, it seemed foreign to ask for it. A part of him didn’t even want to ask but the heat almost was demanding it.

“I need…”

His face felt white hot, and he felt ashamed for even asking for anything. It should be at Dan’s pace, him being the dominate male of the two, how fast he wanted to go and when he wanted Phil.

“What do you need?” He says as he pulls his face up from Phil’s thighs, his lips coated heavy with Phil’s wet. And maybe Dan was playing dumb, because he was smirking like a villain and his eyes were playful and mischievous. “Keep leaking like this and I’ll give you anything you want”

“I want…” Phil stops himself, bites his tongue, the heat in his belly was driving him forward though. “I want you…I want to be” He couldn’t say it, something was stopping him.

“You want me to fuck you through your entire heat, right? You want me to make you feel good?” Dan continues for him.

Phil nods his head submissively. “Yeah”

Dan coos at Phil then. He leans a bit closer, his entire face was in Phil’s throat at one point and he nuzzle Phil like he’s known him his entire life. Like they were long term life mates, and this was one heat of many they were working through together.

It puts a blissful feeling in Phil’s chest, makes him not hate so much the idea of being someone’s submissive.

“I mean, I have nothing better to do tonight” Dan was playful, bitterly sarcastic and joking. He sounds dry and warm at the same time and Phil almost wants to spend the next few hours trying to unfold the mystery.

It moves at a quiet pace for most of it, more kisses and nibbles, once Dan removes his clothes too it gets a little bit fast though. Phil could feel every inch of him. 

Phil was pulsing at this point, it hurt so bad he was nearly about to explode. “Dan…”

“I know, I know”

One last nip to the throat, he seems to like leaving marks, Phil could feel them running down every inch of his skin. Claiming him and his body, Phil hadn’t even been fucked yet and he stunk of Dan, it would keep other predators away for months to come.

Dan had moved him around a lot while he was kissing him, so Phil’s head was resting against the headboard now. When Dan pulls back though Phil was yanked back down, and his long antlers hit the headboard hard in the process and he cries out in pain.

“Sorry” Dan mumbles.

“It’s okay” Phil responds, still feeling the ache in his poor antlers as Dan lies on top. He folds Phil in half to get the angles right, they were both extremely tall and they had a lot of limbs to sort out before they could start.

It hurts at first, but the wet helps, Phil has never done this with another person before so the feeling of being full was new to him. Phil had tried his finger once, one lonely night of going through yet another heat alone. It didn’t even compare to the feeling of this though.

He was stretched thin to fit the dominate creatures girth. It took forever for Dan to get all the way in, but when he is their hips were joined without an inch of space to spare. All of him currently inside of Phil, and Phil knew the deal was sealed by this simple action and they were mating, and Dan wouldn’t be releasing Phil until Phil was filled.  

“Jesus Christ” Phil could hear Dan mumble into Phil’s shoulder. He sounded belated. “You feel like falling into bed after a long and stressful day”

Gentle nuzzling, and Phil could tell that meant Dan really liked it.

Phil could tell that he wasn’t Dan’s first, but that was okay because Dan sort of felt like skinning his knee on the hard asphalt and having his wound mended with medicine and a band-aid afterward.

Phil didn’t entirely know what to do with his limbs, so they were just sort of draped across Dan, he didn’t know if that was right, but it felt too stupid to ask where to put them. It didn’t really matter in the end really, not like this.

Motionless for a moment, but then Phil’s arm twitches.

 Dan pushes his hips forward without warning and it was rough and fast and ached all over. Phil yelps, a string of tears coming to his eyes, and it was much too much and much to fast, and Phil was already full and couldn’t get any fuller.

“I’m sorry” Dan sounds truly genuine for the first time.  “It’s just instinct, I’m sorry Phil but you can’t move for a bit. It makes it worse, just stay still for a second and let me settle down”

His eyes were so dark they were almost black, no…. they were black, entirely without any shred of brown left.

“I’m so sorry” Phil starts to apologize profusely himself, because obviously it was his fault. “Don’t be mad”

“I’m not mad” Dan coos, sweet like Phil was a child he was trying to sooth. He reaches around and grabs Phil’s wrist, brings his hand up and set it against his face. Dan’s skin was warm and soft. Flawless.   

“Help me” Dan tells him as he moves closer, his head pressed against Phil’s cheek. “You smell too good. I need to keep it under control”

“How?”

“Tell me I can’t” Dan says, “Just say it”

Phil bits his inner cheek, fresh faced blush, the pain between his thighs duller now, it felt a little better.

 “But- “

“Please”

He really didn’t think he should say it, he shouldn’t have that sort of control. It was unnatural, he was submissive.

“…. go slow, be gentle”

Dan’s hips twitch, and him twitch inside of Phil.

“Okay”

Dan starts to move.

Phil flinches, pain coursing through his hips. “Soft”

Dan grunts, unhappy but the next one is better, it doesn’t make Phil’s entire body spasm with pain. “Better?”

Phil nods his head. “Yeah…thank you”

The rest of it goes like that, slow and soft, maybe occasionally, it gets a little rough, but Phil just must repeat a warning and it was back to normal again. It starts to feel good after a bit too, and Phil wants more.

“Dan…”

Fingers in his brown curly hair now, it was so soft.

“What?” He sounded normal, wasn’t even breaking a sweat, did it even feel good to him?

“Faster…it’s okay”

Dan pauses momentarily seeming to take what Phil said in. “You sure?”

Phil nods, the instincts in his swimming. “Yeah…just be careful”

Dan grumbles incoherently in response but the next move he makes is a little bit quicker, tamed if only barely and it leaves a sweet stinging in Phil’s thighs that he hadn’t expected. It didn’t hurt like the last few had hurt, it was exciting instead and Phil sort of loved it. He could feel the heat in him building up.

“You can go faster” He begs. “Just be careful…” he repeats when it hurts too much.

Phil felt good, it felt good, he could feel his heat taking over again once it was used to Dan. He was starting to crave it again, the sex. He wanted more, he wanted Dan to fill him up.

He whimpers with the need. “Inside…” He whines, “I’m ready”

He could feel his own coming, they were going to do it at the same time. He felt Dan’s coming on too.

“Inside…I want it”

The shockwaves that flow through his body were something he’s never felt before, and there was a certain feeling he gets from being mated, from having Dan buried inside of him, it was like he belonged to something bigger then himself. He’s never felt taken care of in this way.

It was that way all night. Until dawn broke through Phil’s curtains and his body was too exhausted to do it anymore. He was a mess of overworked limbs and fluid from both him and Dan, and his belly was back to normal mostly. He just felt briefly the fuzzy heat in him from Dan being inside.

Dan extracts himself and Phil curls onto his side on instinct, in a small ball much like the one he was in, in the dirt. He feels Dan lie down beside him. He doesn’t touch him at first but then he reaches across and pulls him into his arms, and Phil felt secure in the embrace.

“Are you going to stay?” Phil asks, a bit of hope in his heart that he would, even though the heat was over, and he had no need to stay with Phil anymore.

“For a little bit”

Phil was determined not to go to sleep after that, and he last maybe a little while but eventually he gave into the drawl of rest. He dreads it though, because he knew that when he woke up, Dan would probably be gone.


	2. Vanilla

Dan had told himself he was going to leave.

The had been his intent when he woke up that morning. The memories from the night before had sunk back into his head and he told himself he was going to leave. He stayed though, for at least an hour, lying on his back and staring up at the ceiling. He stayed, and he focused entirely too hard on the shuffling on the other side of the bed.

He smelled the sweetness still, soft like caned sugar. _‘I’m a bad person’_ he thinks to himself. Hates himself when he thinks of how soft the hybrid’s skin had been under his teeth.

He had gotten up from bed, gotten dressed and left the room. Didn’t even bother himself with looking back at the mess he had left in the bed. Couldn’t. Routine, it wasn’t like it was a common thing for him to sleep around but he didn’t like sticking around when he did. He stayed inside when he felt it coming on. The need. The way it dug deep into his bones, infected him and all he was. He wasn’t the best person on a regular day, wasn’t even close, but when the need came on it got so much worse, he was more agitable, more aggressive. He hated it, the look people get in their eyes when they look at him.

It was his fathers blood, the predator in him. The fact that Dan wasn’t a pure hybrid kept most of the characteristics from coming through, just the most problematic ones it seemed... His Mum’s blood kept him healthy on his off days. When the need struck him though it was all his Dad, and he felt it inside and he couldn’t help himself from turning into nothing but a drooling sex feening animal.

He had thought it only safe to go out last night because he hadn’t felt the need and wouldn’t for another few weeks. He had needed to go out, his apartment had felt stuffy and confining and he hates being caged like that. It was only supposed to be a short walk to get some fresh air.

But then he had smelled it, the scent of a much weaker creature’s heat and something inside of him had shifted. It wasn’t as strong as the need, but it was overwhelming nonetheless. He knew he shouldn’t have tried to fallow it, but he couldn’t help himself.

He never could. _‘Bad person’_

The smell had made him lose a bit of himself, it wasn’t the same raw sexual need that came on every month. This felt different, and Dan was like a bloodhound with a scent the moment it hits him.

At first glance Phil had been as long and delicate as the sunflowers his Mum planted in her garden. Dan doesn’t think he’s ever wanted to plunder anything more than he did Phil that night in the woods. To the touch Phil had been warm, homey, but his movements were skittish and his breath shaky.

Phil had said he wanted to go home. So, Dan had brought the pitiful thing home.

And Phil was like honey and sugar. He melted just like it too in Dan’s arms. Phil makes sounds like a mouse when Dan licks the spots he bites and after Dan has heard them he never wants to hear them from anyone else ever again.

All that mattered was being in-between his legs.

Phil was very fragile though, and Dan thinks he’s ruined him at least five different ways a million different times.

That was why Dan had to leave.

He makes it though, not even a few minutes outside before he wants to turn back around. He couldn’t explain it.

Phil wasn’t like him, he was a delicate hybrid. He was bright and cozy and had eyes that begged Dan to stay forever with him. Dan has never seen eyes like those before, ones that reflected a life together.

Safe, weak. Needed. It was the first time Dan has imagined what it would be like to fill a belly full of his abhorrent offspring.

The thought of it had Dan standing still for what felt like hours before his feet started moving again, but he wasn’t moving back, and he wasn’t moving forward. He was walking across the street to a shop.

It had just opened and there wasn’t anyone inside yet, safe for a woman at the front register who eyes him the moment he comes in and doesn’t stop as he rounds the corner to make his way to the medical aisle.

He feels awkward, picking up the things that he does, but he does it nonetheless. It takes him maybe twenty minutes in total before he was walking towards the register.

The woman, a middle aged plump hybrid whom looked like vermin ‘Rabbit maybe?’ looks up at him, and at first, she gives him the same eyes that everyone else does. Like she was cautious of him. He was different from her, different from everyone. A social outcast, wrong.

“Will that be all?”

Dan sets the things down on the counter and shift awkwardly, wants to be anywhere but here.   “Yes” He says.

He tries to distance himself, act like he wasn’t paying attention to her or the way she was staring at him. He felt it though, he critical stare. He’s surprised when he hears her speak.

“You don’t smell as bad as you think” She says, pulling Dan back, and he looks at her with surprise.

“What?”

“You don’t smell as bad as you think” She repeats. “I imagine you did before, but he tempers you. You reek of his sweetness. What’s his name?”

Dan was pleased to discover that he could answer the question without having to think back on it.

“Phil”

Dan couldn’t really explain it, but he suddenly has an itch in the back of his throat that begged him to continue to talk of Phil. Pride filling his chest. It was so peculiar.

‘He’s a purebred. I knew it from the moment I smelled him.  He has characteristics of the creature he descended from. He’s soft and sweet to the touch and apologies way too much. He has blue eyes and black hair and antlers that look just as delicate as him. He also likes plants and flowers and putting on warm clothes after they come out of the dryer’

“This all for him?”

Dan nods his head, shifts again and looks away. He doesn’t really want to talk to her anymore. She was nosy, and it was annoying to him. He wants to go back to his dank cave and hide himself from the world again, but no. He has Phil to handle first.

“Good” Dan looks back and sees her slipping something else inside of his bag. A bar of chocolate. “Free of charge. All of it”

“Why?” Dan asks, confused.

The woman shrugs her shoulders, though she has a kind smile on her face that strikes Dan weird. “I know Phil, he comes in every day to buy chocolate. Though I suspect he only does so because he feels bad that I don’t get much business anymore with that new shopping complex next door” She tells him. “He’s very nice, thank you for taking care of him”

 “I’m not here buying rubbing alcohol because I took care of him last night” Dan replies with agitation laced in his tone.

“You’ll get better at it. It takes time to rein in your naturally integrated instincts” She reassures him as she hands him over the bag. “I should know, my husband is mixed with ophidian”

Dan understands then. He takes the bag from her. “Thank you”

“No problem”

It takes him twenty minutes and a handful of thoughts to get back to the flat he had left Phil inside of. When he gets there, he finds the hybrid had woken up.

Phil had his face snuggled in his pillow, arms wrapped around the squishy object like it was a familiar lover. He doesn’t seem to notice Dan in the doorway until Dan coughs.

It was awkward though.

“Hi”

“Hello”

Dan watches as Phil tries to sit up, elbow first and then he starts bending forward. It seemed like it was going to work but all it took was one wrong move and he was collapsing back down again. He hits his antlers on the headboard in the process and yelped in pain. He rolls back onto his side. Back into that little protective ball of nothing and hides from the world. 

Dan doesn’t know what was wrong with him, he just felt this unexplained need to walk forward. He does so until he ends up steps from the bed. He drops the bag on the floor and moves to crawl onto the bed with Phil. 

Dan didn’t know what he was doing with his arms, reaching out like he was until he had himself wrapped over Phil, pulling the weaker male into a protective cocoon and refusing to let him go. He likes it, how warm Phil feels against him. 

And Phil was hesitant at first, but inevitably folds into Dan too.

“Tell me how you’re feeling” Dan hears himself say. His voice sounded strange to his own ears, he was worried. Nervous.

“Not great” Slips out of Phil’s mouth, muffled partly by the fabric of his tee shirt. Dan hears it though.

“What hurts?” His voice sounds so awkward and misplaced.  He wasn’t used to the soft words he spoke.

“Everything” Phil mumbles, nearly moaning in grief as he shifts his hips and Dan could only imagine the stinging. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t think I can walk”

Dan feels instant pity for the poor creature.

Closer, the skin under Phil’s fringe was smooth and soft. Dan sets his lips right on top of it and just thinks about what he’s done. He’s left a mark here. He feels responsibility claw at his insides, this inexplicably odd need to protect and nurture. Dan’s not use to feeling this way, he’s never wanted to lap up the blistering wounds of another creature and sooth their suffering like this.

Dan thinks that he feels something new here, and it scares him more then anything. He wants to run away, but the sun that was Phil kept him glued to his side.  

Dan’s life has been frigid and empty, less then good. He’s cold, especially in winter and he never thought a person as warm as Phil existed. He wants to bury himself in the frail creature and hibernate until summer came again.

“I’ll take care of you” Just keep me warm.

Silence, Phil doesn’t say anything at first. Then in the quietest of whispers he mumbles into Dan's chest. “Okay”

Phil was adorable. Dan likes him, and he doesn't really like many things anymore.


	3. Devil's Food

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for the awesome response for the last few chapters, it makes me so happy to see that people seem to like this story. I hope you continue to enjoy it. I'll keep busting out chapters for as long as you do!

_‘Dan smells like safe’_

That’s the only thing Phil could think about as he sat on his red kitchen chair and watched Dan walk around his home like he’s been here his entire life. Like he lives here with Phil and knew exactly where everything was kept and how to get to it. He opens cupboards, shuffles through cereal boxes and containers of sugar and flour and pulls out a box of shell noodles. Goes into another cupboard for the sauce.

He opens the fridge, digs around for vegetables, he must push around a few boxes of cake.

“Why do you have so many?” He asks, looking back at Phil with a curious expression. He looks so interesting like that, with his handsome eyebrow arched and his full lips curled down into a slight frown.

Phil feels his stomach tighten at the sight of him standing there. Dan was tall and broad and lovely.

“I bring them home from work all the time” He tells Dan. “I like cake. I like sweets in general”

Dan makes a face, sort of amused sort of not and then he proceeds to snort like a bear would. All loud and stubborn. He turns away and mumbles something and Phil swears it sounds like “Maybe that’s why you’re so sweet” but he isn’t sure.

Phil sits there, legs folded up, dressed in warm and cozy clothes for sleep, covered in band-aids and strong-smelling ointment. He sits there, and he watches a stranger walk around his kitchen making them dinner and he thinks. ‘Dan smells so safe’

Phil is aware that part of it came from the fact that he had been with Dan and therefore his smell was familiar and comforting. In all actuality, Phil knew that Dan’s smell was dangerous, and Phil should want to stay clear of him. After all Dan was not like Phil. He was something that Phil couldn’t really put his finger on and it was that uncertainty that proved Dan wasn’t safe for breeding. The kids would come out all wrong.        

Phil’s parents would shun him if they knew he had been with someone like Dan. Phil knew it, but still Dan smelled safe and seemed very soft. Not on the outside, on the outside he was tough and stubborn. Hostile and scary, beautiful but deadly, on the inside, on the inside though.

The kiss on his forehead, the warmth of his hands as he helped Phil bathe and then dressed him in bandages afterwards.

On the inside Dan was soft, Phil knew it and it made him want to be his.

The room smells like tomato sauce and spices, Phil plays with the petals of one of his house plants while Dan silently cooks them some food. It smells so good and makes Phil’s stomach rumble. He hasn’t eaten anything except for the candy bar Dan brought him. He was starving, he always was after a heat that strong.

Phil still vividly remembers the warmth between his thighs, the rough yet satisfying movement inside him and he wonders if maybe he’d ever do it again with Dan. He thinks he wants to but doesn’t know if Dan does.

Sex with someone in heat doesn’t necessarily have to end in a coupling anymore. It would back in the day, back when Phil’s parents were kids and it was unsavory to breed someone and not make them yours. Today though, in this new day and age filled with one-night stands it wasn’t all that uncommon. That’s why parents usually took it upon themselves to help their kids find someone. It was safer than just meeting someone off the street.

Phil didn’t know and that’s what scared him. Dan was under no obligation to do anything for him, to stay with him and be his. Phil wanted him to, because Dan was soft and safe, and his smell still clung to Phil’s bones. Because Dan was the first to ever mount him and that meant something to Phil. Made him feel a connection, a need for him. Dan didn’t smell like him, but that didn’t matter, Dan didn't need to be like Phil he just needed to be Phil's.

 _‘I’ll have all your tattered children’_ Phil thinks then. ‘ _Impure, mixed up, I don’t care. If they’re yours I don’t care’_

A loud ‘clank’ as Dan sets a plate down in front of Phil. Phil looks up, red faced and flustered and Dan was looking back, same superior stare.

“It smells good” Phil tells him, feels nervous looking straight at him. A beautiful mystery of a person Dan was. They’ve been together intimately and yet Phil knows next to nothing about him. He wants to know, everything. Every little unspoken detail and overturned rock.

 _‘You smell good’_ He wants to say.

“Thank you” Dan replies, mumbles really, he get’s lazy half way his words when he speaks. It makes him sound less posh and prince-like at times.

Dan looks to be a lazy person in general, his movement slow and cumbersome. The way he carries himself makes him seem heavy, even though he looked like he didn’t weigh much.  

He sets a plate down next to Phil instead of across and takes a seat in his green chair.

He grabs a fork and digs in and Phil supposes he should be doing the same. The pasta is warm and flavorful in his mouth and it hits his belly in a satisfying way. He wants more, and he wasn’t even finished with the first plate yet. He wants more for the rest of his life though.

Phil was making a mess, he knew it. He always did, he was way too awkward not to. He was getting the sauce all over his mouth and chin. He ate like a child, especially uncoordinated and ungraceful.

“Why do you eat like that?”

Phil was mid bite when Dan reaches up and wipes the sauce off his mouth, thumb especially gentle against Phil’s lips. Phil looks up at him and Dan has the most amused look in his eyes.

Phil likes that happy look in his eyes. It’s so much better then the usual sad and brooding one.

“I can’t help it” Phil replies, soft and defensive.

Dan snorts, loud and abrasive. “You’re clumsy” He says. “You were bruised up before I even got my hands on you”

“I fall a lot” Phil tells him honestly. “I bump into a lot of things too, I’m a magnet for disaster”

“Clearly” Dan says. “You managed to find me”

Dan’s back to his own food again, and he eats like he doesn’t want to. Like he was just forcing himself to keep himself from starving.

“You don’t like yourself” Phil hears himself say, like a lightbulb had just gone off in his head and he was discovering something that had been confusing to him up until now.  “You hate you, it’s so obvious”

Dan doesn’t look at him, but he does stop eating for a second and now he was just staring down at his plate with a lost expression. “I just know what I am” He tells Phil.

“And what is that?”

“Bad person” He says it so obviously, like it was the only true thing about him. “Fucking walking tornado, fucked up, ugly. Too much of my Dad, not enough of my Mum”

Dan seems frustrated now, almost glaring through the plate at something else that wasn’t even there. And he was beautiful in his sadness, complex and interesting and Phil just wanted to pull Dan into him and sooth his temperamental soul.

“You’re not that” Phil tells him. “You’re more then that, you’re good I know it. You look like a good person. You look like you have the potential to be the best person I’ve ever met”

“How can you say that?” Dan mutters then, smooth and posh but lazy. “I ruined you”

“No” Phil shakes his head, denies. “I wanted you to breed me last night, I was just scared initially. It was new, and I had never encountered anything like you before” He continues. “I liked it when you touched me though, it felt natural, right. It felt like you were the only one who was supposed to touch me like that”

“I was too rough”

“Not the whole time” Phil tells him. “I made you better, I can make you better the next time too”

He blushes, realizing what he was saying. Mumbles. “I mean, I don’t even know what this makes us but…”

_‘But I want you to stay, to mate with me. To breed babies and live together in this home and grow together and nest’_

Dan was quiet for a long time, way too long. Phil wished he would speak.

Finally.

“I think I’m too much for you” Dan says, stumbles. “I don’t know, I think…. I want to be but you’re so good and I don’t think I deserve something so good”

“Dan…”

“You don’t want me” Dan mutters, sure of himself. “I’m not even on the same class level as you. Once people smell me on you…. they’ll look at you like you’re fucked up too”

“I don’t care” Slips from Phil’s mouth before he could stop himself. “I mean I’m scared of what it means too. To mate, to breed offspring, to be with someone like you…” Phil trails off, feels his heart beating fast in his chest.

“But you smell safe and I think that means I need to be with you”

Phil wants to continue, _‘You’re unlike anyone I’ve ever met before’_ but something in his head stops him from being that honest so soon.

They were done eating now, have been for a while and now they were just sitting next to each other at the table and talking. Phil couldn’t stop sneaking glances at Dan, so new and mysterious. Something about him so nice and welcoming.

He was rough, but Phil wanted to be the one to smooth out his edges and make him softer on the outside too.

Then in the softest of whispers, weak and vulnerable Phil continues. “Do you want me too?”

Dan shifts awkwardly, all that overbearing mass. He hunches a lot, tries to make himself look less threatening then he was. “I think so” he tells Phil honestly. “I don’t know if I can do it though…the whole together thing”

“Can I be yours until you know?” Phil asks then feeling a need festering deep in his chest, unlike the usual sexual need though. This one was pining. “I don’t know what to do, my next heat I’ll want you…I’ll want…. if you’re not here and someone else smells it”

“No ones going to touch you Phil” Dan’s voice was suddenly so deep and unnerving. He sounds serious. “Not anymore, I’ll be here, and I’ll take care of you”

Phil understood too, how weak he was. He needed someone like Dan to be here, to keep him safe. Phil’s life has been so many situations that could have been prevented if he had someone to keep him safe.

“And when you hit yours?” Phil asks, unsure and nervous. “The one you go through”

“I don’t think you can handle me when I hit mine, Phil” Dan tells him, “Not yet”

“You’ll go to someone else then?” Phil doesn’t like that idea, not really. _‘Mine, mine, mine’_ Filtering through his head. He wants to be the only one who smells like Dan.

“I didn’t say that”

“So, what will you do?”

“You don’t have to worry about me Phil, I’m not running around looking for virgins lying off the side of the road to mate with” He’s agitated now but not in a way that scared Phil anymore. He was learning that this was just the way Dan was. Hot temper and all. “It’s not like I do this sort of thing often. I’m not like that”

“I didn’t mean to infer that you do” Phil says honestly. “I just know that you can if you want to”

“Well, I don’t want to” Dan mutters heatedly, quickly looking away again.

And Phil feels a small smile touch his lips and he thinks _‘That makes me happy’_

He says. “If we stay together my heat will eventually sync up with yours”

Dan replies. “We’ll handle that when we get there”

"We’ll be more likely to have a baby then” Phil continues. “Do you even want kids?”

Phil didn’t think he did, but if he stays with Dan he doesn’t think it would be so terrible. Babies with curly hair and deep brown eyes.

Dan grows unusually interested in his hands. “We’ll talk about that when we get there” he says.

Phil didn’t really like that answer but he didn’t want to press the issue and cause a problem.

“Will you stay tonight?” Phil asks a little while later after Dan was done cleaning up their plates. “I don’t know if you have to go, I guess if you do that’s okay but-”

“If you want me to” Dan tells him. “I have work tomorrow so I can stay until then. I just need to go home to grab some more clothes, but I’ll be back”

“Okay” Phil tells him, “I’d like it if you stayed”

“Then I will” Dan tells him. “I better anyways, I’d like to make sure you’re okay”

“I should be fine by tomorrow” Phil tells him, “I have work too”

“At the bakery” Dan says.

Phil nods his head.

“What time?”

“12pm until 7” He tells Dan.

“How?”

“I take the bus”

“I get off at six” Dan supplies. “I’ll be gone before you leave but I can come and get you after work”

“You don’t have to Dan”

“I want to” Dan says, “It’s dangerous, a frail thing like you on the bus”

Phil knows he’s weak though. “Okay” He says.

“I’ll go get my stuff now, it shouldn’t take longer than an hour”

“I’ll wait for you to get back, I’ll watch tv until you do” Phil stands up, a sharp pain goes through his back, but it was manageable. He hobbles when he walks but he can walk. He doesn’t know if it’s going to be like this every time they have sex though.

 _‘I have to try and get use to him if I want to keep breeding with him’_ Phil thinks to himself.  A sweet feeling spills into his belly when he realizes. _‘That sounds nice’_

Dan stands up too, grabs his arm and helps him walk to the couch. Dan sets him down in the middle and when Phil shivers he grabs the blanket from the back of the couch and pulls it down onto Phil’s shoulders.

Phil bundles into it as Dan grabs the remote from the coffee table and hands it to Phil.

“I’ll be back” He says, standing back up and moving around the couch. “Go to sleep if you’re tired”

“I won’t get tired” Phil promised.

Dan stops and looks back at Phil. Phil doesn’t know what the murky look in his eyes mean.

“What?”

Dan says nothing as he moves back to Phil, when he reaches him he extends his hand and brushes the hair out of his face. “Go to sleep if you get tired” He repeats, in a more demanding tone this time. He means it. “You need your rest”

“Okay” Phil replies, “I promise I will”

Means that too, eager to please Dan, do what he wants and make him happy.

And Dan does that thing again, where it kind of looks like he was smiling. “I’ll be back” He says, for the third time, means something deeper when he says it, looks at Phil like he’s something worth being looked at. Phil’s never wanted someone to come back home to him more.

“Soon” Phil repeats, feels the prospect wet his eager tongue. “Please”

“Soon” Dan replies.  

Phil wants to say, as Dan turns to leave, as he hears the door close. Lock. Leaving him safe and sound until Dan is back to protect him, he wants to say, _‘And when you come back, don’t ever leave again’_ Almost does. But doesn’t.


	4. Fruit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, first off let me say sorry to anyone whose been waiting for me to post another chapter. I've been so busy lately. Hopefully this makes up for it though. And thanks for all the amazing comments, I really love reading what you guys have to say! Anyways enough rambling I really hope you enjoy!

**Stay.**

That sounded good to Dan, _right_.

The moment Phil had suggested it to him, he hadn’t even thought twice about it. He realized that a part of him had always wanted this more than anything. The smallest part, the empty space in his chest that was still childlike and fragile. He had always wanted to be wanted by someone, he wanted to belong somewhere.

That’s how Dan found himself in the kitchen cooking Phil the only meal he knew how to make instead of going home.

With Phil, he liked being here with Phil. It wasn’t like with other people. Dan didn’t hate it, didn’t even mind it. Phil’s presence was such a subtle thing that half the time he hardly even noticed it.  It was like being alone only not. It wasn’t as quiet for one, Dan would hate the quiet. The sound of his own brain turning in his skull. The feeling of being too much, too heavy. Sometimes he could hardly take it, knowing he was him and this was the life he was living.

Wants to blame his parents for ever conceiving him but can’t, his Mum was too soft, and his father was a ghost.

Phil made noises though, he hummed and sniffled and coughed and spoke. And oh god when he spoke, Dan doesn’t think he could come up with words good enough to describe the way he spoke, sweet and friendly with just enough naive optimism. He spoke like he cared about everything, even the smallest plant and rock. He spoke like everything mattered, and when he spoke to Dan it was like Dan mattered and it put such an indescribable warm feeling inside of Dan’s chest.

Dan wanted to forget about his apartment and just stay with the awkward creature.  Deep inside, Dan wants to make shelter here and keep them both warm and safe.  

Dan has never had to take care of anyone other than himself. He was like a lone wolf, he hunts and scavenges for his own survival. And so Dan doesn’t know if he’s doing it right, if he’s being gentle enough or courteous enough but he was trying, because Phil had eyes that made him want to try.

He wanted to stay. Phil’s skin is soft, and up close he smells like vanilla pastries smothered in honey. Dan had spent all day with him in that flat, from morning until the sun had dipped low beneath the skyline and he already was addicted to the feeling of familiarity. 

It was at the point where Dan felt heavy when he stepped outside that flat to head home. Earth’s gravity hit, and he had felt irritable because he was outside. 

He liked when he had Phil in his arms, Phil who was much too brittle for Dan. Washing him had been a challenge though. Admittedly Dan's rough with himself, scrubs and slams and shoves because it didn't matter, and he didn't matter. With Phil, with those gentle bones of his, the way his paper-thin skin would rip if Dan pressed down to hard. It scared him, Phil’s gentleness scared him.    

Phil had that look in his eye, that blind trust. The amount of times he’s said ‘okay’ to Dan. It was dangerous, to be so kind in this world. It made Dan want to keep Phil inside, and with him instead. And that was terrifying, the fact that Dan felt like he was more than capable of keeping sunshine in a bottle if only he was given the right motivation.

“You’re being so gentle” Phil had told him in the tub.  Out of the blue. Sounding so complex as Dan ran the rag across his moon flesh with the utmost caution. “It's so different from last night”

Dan responded. “I’m just not use to it” 

And clearly, Phil notices too, how Dan’s hands were restrained as he touched him and scrubbed away all their sex fluid from the night prior.

“What are you use to?” Dan could tell Phil was curious, and he wanted to inquire, to know everything. Curious little thing he was.  “If you don’t mind me asking”

Dan's response was easy. “Leaving” he tells the antlered creature honestly.

So, it was only equally as natural for Phil to ask after that, “Why aren’t you leaving me then?” 

Dan doesn’t respond right away, because this wasn't as easy. For the longest while his attention was lost on Phil's limbs. Phil was tall, had long clumsy legs that hung over the tub. 

“I feel bad” Dan hesitates with the cloth. He pulls it back from Phil, sort of fumbles around with it. He responds after a bit. “You have that look about you and it makes me feel bad”

Dan’s flat is intentionally small, made up for just one person. Dan owned none of the furniture personally. Everything is how it was when he first moved in some four months ago. An old couch, some tables. The dinning ware wasn’t even his, nor any of the cookware in the cabinets. They were unused to the point where they had gotten dusty.

Dan heads straight to his room. In his closet he has a few pairs of pants, three shirts and one jumper. He has a shoebox full of things from childhood and a piano in the corner he never really plays anymore.  

He shoves some clothes into a backpack and then just as quickly heads back out. He made sure to lock up before he leaves because he wasn’t too sure when he would be back. For some reason, Dan thinks not for a while.

As he exits the flat and heads back down to the street Dan sees a young mother trudging along the snow covered pavement with a small cub bundled up closely to her chest and he thinks about his own Mum. Dan finds himself wondering what she was doing right now and if she was happy, he hopes so. She didn’t go out much or have that many friends. The winter would make it hard for her to take care of the flowers in her garden, so she would probably be stuck inside, organizing and reorganizing her furniture and reading her thick spy novels. Dan hopes she had some good books left to keep her busy, thinks maybe he should send her some more soon with another card.

It takes Dan entirely too long to get back to Phil’s flat. As he grows closer the notices the nagging panicky feeling in his chest begin to disappear.  ‘Want to see him.’ Is all Dan could really think about.

He gets up the flight of stairs, and though it was late right now there were still people filtering in and out of their homes. Dan nearly bumps into a small one on his way to Phil’s floor.

The smell of her was light. She was unmated, but most of the creatures here probably were. They stuck together, it kept them safe. Dan knew he must stick out like a sore thumb. His smell mixed like oil and water with theirs. 

"Hello"

"Hi" Dan didn't like talking to people too often, but he tries to be better with the fragile ones. 

They don't say anything else to each other after that. She switches to the other side of the corridor, keeping a safe distance from Dan. Dan could tell she was watching him when he stops at Phil’s door and pulls out the keys.  

He drops his bag once he gets inside and his feet, as if on instinct take him down the short corridor to where he had last left Phil. He smells him over everything in the home, but Phil's smell was the strongest there, mixed nicely with the smell of Dan.

Phil’s smell felt like just another addition to his own. A missing piece, something that was always meant to be there but wasn’t.  

Dan wasn’t used to it, smelling normal.

He isn’t surprised in the slightest, when he walks into the room and sees Phil curled up on the couch asleep. A slight mass with the longest limbs. He had switched to being more in the center to make room for both his antlers and legs.

Dan kicks off his shoes and slowly dips onto the couch, trying to be slow and gentle because Phil was made of glass. He nearly wakes him; an odd shift causes Phil to grumble and twitch. He even mumbles some incoherent words before he settles back down underneath Dan.

 Dan ends up getting behind him where he wraps himself around Phil without second thought and he swears that the moment he gets there Phil is against him, chest to chest and lung to lung. And it was strange too, how Phil pushes into him instead of away, like Dan wasn’t the most disgusting thing on the planet.

 Sleep comes as natural as breathing to Dan, but he had always been lazier then the average person. He wakes a few hours later, the sun was peaking out of the curtains and it was time for Dan to get up and go to work.

He doesn't want to, never really does honestly but now was especially difficult.

Phil wasn't lying beside him anymore and Dan decides that was a problem quickly. He could smell the creature though, along with something incredibly strong and sweet and that made Dan feel a little better, the air was filled with the smell of food.

He was covered in the same blanket he had covered Phil in last night and he felt lazy knowing that.

"Oh you're awake" Dan doesn't know how long he spent just lying there staring at the bare space on the floor when suddenly Phil's thin legs were in front of him. All narrow and bruised.

A few deep cuts and scraps that Dan knows for a fact he didn't cause, matching indents that were at perfect level with the chips in the coffee table and Dan was sure that he'd need to get use to the idea of keeping around a few band-aids and ointments just in case Phil hurt himself again.

Switching his gaze up and Phil was elevated above Dan and glowing from the rays of light that hit him ever so subtly. Dark and pretty, precious and light, and Dan wonders how Phil had manager to keep himself safe and unplundered for this long. 

Dan doesn't speak, doesn't really want to and so Phil takes it as a sign to continue.

"I made you breakfast, I hope you don't mind..."

And he says that like Dan was suppose to mind, like there was even a hint of a possibility that cooking him breakfast could be interpreted wrong.

The flustered look on his face, Dan wants to eat him. Which was strange because neither were in heat and he shouldn't want to do that for another few months at least.

"What did you make?"  Dan asks, still lying down because he was lazy and the view of Phil shimmering above him was amazing to behold.

"Pancakes"

Dan finds humor in that. Pancakes, of course it was pancakes because pancakes like actual cakes were sweet and so was Phil.

"Thank you" Dan says, as he finally starts to push himself up from his lying position. He notices, subtly that Phil takes a bit of a step back as Dan stands up. And like that Dan was towering over him again, Phil shrinks naturally to show submission and Dan hunches a little, to show Phil that he didn't care about the power play quiet like he was supposed to.

"You're welcome" Phil replies, bubbly and friendly. He leads Dan to the kitchen where he had set up two plates for them.

Phil still limps and a part of Dan was horrified by that. The other part of Dan was more then a bit proud though. Wants to make Phil limp more, every time. All the time.

They take a seat in the same chairs as last night and Dan feels his stomach drop at the sight of his plate. The food looked good and he realizes how hungry he was when he gets a good whiff of it. Dan was always hungry though, that was a bit of his problem. He was always hungry and tired and irritable.

Like a bear, because he was a bear.

A bit into eating, Phil begins to talk. Lightly at first but then as he gets more comfortable with the idea of talking around Dan he begins to say more.

"I think maybe, I don't know but I think it would be good to learn a little bit more about each other now" he says, optimistic and kind. Always kind.

"Like what?" Dan's afraid he comes off as too rude sometimes when he speaks, like now when he had just woken up and he wanted to go back to sleep. Thankfully Phil seemed to understand that Dan didn't mean to be an arse, he just was.

"Basic things I guess" Phil replies. "Anything you want to really, nothing you don't"

"Where do I start?" Dan asks then, mouth half full of food. Feeling queasy and satisfied all at once. 

"You're last name maybe" Phil replies sweetly. "Maybe that's a good start"

Dan thinks that's easy enough.

"Howell" He tells Phil. "My name is Daniel James Howell, I'm an only child which I'm very happy about. I was raised by my Mum until I got too old and I started to go through the changes and then I moved into a boarding school filled with kids like me and then eventually out on my own. I was in art school for a little bit but I didn't like it so I dropped out and got a job at a shitty record shop in town"

Dan thinks that summarized everything well enough, he looks at Phil to see if he was satisfied with his answer or not. He looked to be, which made Dan feel good.

"What about you?"

"I'm Philip Michael Lester, I'm not an only child I have a older brother. I was raised in the north by my Mum and Dad. I had a pretty mundane childhood. It was nice. When I grew up I went to collage and graduated with a degree in English Language and Linguistics but I didn't really like any of the jobs I could do with it so I got a job at a bakery instead. It's nice, I really like it"

Dan thinks he really likes the way Phil oozes happiness when he speaks about his life. He realizes that Phil has probably had a lot better life then him, he doesn't hate it though, is a bit envious but not really. In the end he just simply decides that he liked how bright Phil made the room feel.

"I think that's a pretty good re-introduction" Dan speaks up finally, feeling a new shift in the air. A restart, the beginning of something else.

"It's nice to meet you Phil. I hope this works out and that you never realize how shit I am at everything"

And it was incredible, the way the world outside seems to collapse around them when Phil smiles.

"It's nice to meet you too Dan" He says. "I can't wait to get to know you better"


	5. Chocolate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After months of squeezing in a line here and there the next chapter is finally done. Sorry about the wait, I hope you enjoy!

The hint of lemons and vanilla clung to his hands, dried flour stuck under his fingernails, sugar sprinkled all over his skinny black jeans. Phil stunk of sweets and not at all in a pleasant way.     

He was tired on his feet, he ached in ways he couldn’t even begin to describe, still he continues to mix the Meringue, keeping the speed up so the eggs would finally peak. A graveyard of broken shells lay on the cutting board to his left.

He loved baking. There was just something so special about the formation of a cake from batter to frosting. The critical egg to flour ratio, the frosting distribution, the filling. Being the direct cause and effect of something so intricate put a sense of control into Phil’s life.

That was important to him, control. He’s had so very little of it his entire life, someone always there to tell him what to do, or where to go. He didn’t necessarily mind that for the most part, being in control was scary, but sometimes…sometimes Phil would get curious of what control was like.

And so, he baked.

“…Phil”  

Phil was frosting the cupcakes with the meringue when Louise walked in.  

 “Yeah?” Phil mutters back, not looking up, focused on the task at hand.

“Your Bear” She says, “He’s outside”

The pipping bag almost slipped from his hands. Bear is what Louise had taken to calling Dan. Phil was sure it was made as an insult as Louise didn’t particularly like the idea of Dan or what he represented. What he was.

To himself though Phil thought it was a cute nickname, bear, like the soft and cuddly stuffed ones he remembers from childhood. It fit Dan, even though it didn’t. Phil didn’t know how to explain it but the day Louise came up with it he found himself looking over at Dan’s heavy mass and big brown eyes and seeing his Bear.

“Oh, really?” Phil spoke up finally as he came to.

He saw Louise raise a neat blonde eyebrow at his fumble with the icing. His hands were nervous, he was shaking. Phil gets this way whenever he thinks or sees Dan. He doesn’t know why. It should have faded when his heat did, but it lingers. He feels a warmth settle in his stomach.  An excitement he didn’t completely understand yet.

Dan was so intimidating, Phil felt like a mess around him. Nothing had progressed since Dan hadn’t left. It’s like things were stagnate. They lived together and moved around each other in the same place yet weren’t together. Phil doesn’t know how to start a conversation or even initiate a friendship and if left to Dan it would never happen. Dan lived in the quiet, it was comforting to him, familiar. He could go days without talking, they had, now that Phil though about it, for the last two days they hadn’t said much to each other, save for the occasional. “What do you want for dinner?”

Dan only knows how to make one thing and Phil hurts himself when he cooks so it’s rare for them to make something. Most of the time they pick it up on the way back home.

Home. Is that what it was to them both? Phil hadn’t really pondered it. It felt like it, strange to admit to himself but that’s what it was. He was mated, and now he lived with the man who had claimed him, but they were no more then strangers at this point.

 “I have to go…” Phil finds himself mumbling. A Sudden sense of urgency. A bubble of want in his belly to move things along and hurry on his way. Dan was waiting outside, and Phil felt like just knowing that put a need to get to him in his chest.

And maybe he started moving a bit more quickly, fumbling, a layer of anxiety and panic forming in his gut.

At this he heard Louise scoff. “You’re ridiculous Phil”

He knows he was, but he doesn’t care. Dan’s eyes were big and brown, and Phil had a craving to fall into them for the hundredth time since the first. He had a want to stand next to Dan, just stand there. Bask in the warmth his lofty body emits. A hairs length apart, a fraction but the warmth still touches, a clumsy step would let them brush shoulder to shoulder and it would send a surge of sweet feeling insects down his intestines. His heart would skip, and he would feel safe for the first time in a long time.

Phil doesn’t even know what to call it, he doesn’t know if it was the same with everyone. Had a need to ask but no one who wouldn’t look at him like he had grown two heads overnight. I felt…unnatural in a sense, he looks at other couples sometimes. The ones that come into the cake shop together hand in hand. Always the dominating one in the lead with the submissive one obediently fallowing behind. Couples that had been together for so long that their smells were indistinguishable from one another and they even spoke and sort of looked the same. Couples that were closer, that chose one another, who weren’t thrown together by some sick twist of fate like Phil was with Dan.

Ones that weren’t anything like Dan, cool or stoic.

He saw how they were, saw their closeness and somehow, in the back of his mind he would think, _probably arrogantly_ that what he and Dan had was something more.

Or maybe it was the same, the feelings. He wasn’t sure. To be honest he probably never would be.

He just wanted to see Dan so badly right now. Another wrong move, and Phil had completely messed up another cupcake.

From behind him he hears Louise huff. “Oh you, just go. I’ll finish”

Before Phil could protest Louise was there beside him, gently plucking the bag out of his hand with one and pushing him out of the way with the other. “Before your Bear comes in here looking for you, he’ll scare away the kids”

And that was true, he probably would, Phil had never thought of that before. Maybe Dan knew that too and that was the reason Dan always waited outside the shop  for him.

“But- “

Still Phil protest, because he had a job to do.

” Go” Louise shooed. Waving him away with a single hand. “Bring him coffee, he looks cold” Louise continues, a flash of her motherly intuition. Even in hate she cares.

“He doesn’t like coffee” Phil smiles at the thought, because he knew that. He knew _something_ about Dan.

He doesn’t remember exactly when it was he learned, but it had been etched deep down into memory along with all the other things he discovers about Dan. Like his hunching and his lack of appetite and the single dimple in his cheek when he grins.

“Tea then” Louise decides. “Hurry and go, we won’t get any customers coming in until he leaves”

Phil wasn’t going to argue the second time around, the bundle of sunshine in his belly. He turns on his heel and peels off his apron, tosses it somewhere on the rack with the rest and rushes over to the cabinet where they kept their extra packets of tea.

He knows from memory that Dan likes the calmer and subtle flavors, jasmine sings to him so he picks that one and takes extra care heating the water on the stove top before pouring it and adding the tea bag. He adds sugar and honey and a tad bit of milk because Dan likes sweet things.

“Thank you, Louise,”

Louise does nothing more then nod her head his way.

“See you tomorrow Phil”

“See you”

Phil exits the back, to-go cup in hand and makes a beeline towards the door. He could already see Dan through the window. His back facing him, he wore a thin winter jacket. Hair a mass of untamed curls as the wind blew through them.

Phil sort of wanted to run his fingers through those curls to see if there were just as soft as they looked. He’s seen Dan’s hair in a few states, matted from sleep, wet from a shower, neat after a brush has touched it. Phil likes all states of Dan’s hair, sort of wishes that his own hair would fall in such a way that Dan’s did where it always seemed to look good.

Dan always looked good, like a model straight out of a magazine or high-end clothing commercial. Sometimes Phil felt awkward and odd standing next to him, all thin and boney, with pasty white skin and big feet.

Large and assuming antlers.

The bell rings as Phil exits the building, but he was sure it wasn’t the sound but the smell that Dan picked up on first. From the side profile Phil had upon exit he could see Dan’s nose wrinkle up in that familiar show of recognition of a familiar sent. It always did that when Phil entered the room.

“I brought you tea” Phil feels awkward and clunky. Like his feet were too heavy as he drags them quickly across the pavement to get to Dan. Too quickly, pathetically eager. He almost trips and twists his ankle but makes it in the last second. He’s standing in front of Dan all shy and nervous. It was a feeling Phil couldn’t seem to shake whenever he got around Dan.

And it was strange, the natural attraction Phil seemed to feel for his mate.

Phil can’t even look Dan directly in the eyes sometimes, the rich brown was so intense. He manages slight flickers, tiny licks of contact. Enough to make him feel like he had done too much and made it awkward between them. Like somehow Dan could think him stranger then he probably already did.

They still didn’t really know each other all that well, it was all so awkward and brief, and Phil didn’t know exactly how to fix it yet. Or if they would ever fix it. Phil was very aware that it might just stay this way forever. In theory, if they went through their cycles and heats together, had sex and bred offspring it would be considered a successful union. It was all they were meant to do after all, make babies. They didn’t have to like each other to do that.

Dan takes the cup with a gentle hand. Gentler then needed honestly, a bit too gentle, like one wrong move and Phil’s fingers would snap from the force. He’s been doing that a lot lately.  

“Thanks” Dan mumbles, soft yet legible. The calm, smooth tone of his voice makes Phil’s spine spring up straight.

“You’re welcome”

Phil falls into line with Dan and together they walk side by side at a somber pace. It wasn’t as suffocating as it had been the first few times, the quiet was more natural now. Less in need of useless dialogue.

It was getting colder, Phil had to dress in multiple coats to keep warm. His bones had always been a tad bit frailer then most. Dan on the other hand looked comfortable in the thin one he wore. Not even bothered by the bit of snowflakes that were being collected on top of his head.

Phil wants to wipe them off, because they seemed to be attacking Dan and Dan did not seem to care to defend himself, but Phil just barely holds his hands back. He didn’t know if touching would be okay, the last time they had really done so is when they had mated with each other.

Steps in sync, even if Dan’s were a little longer he kept pace. A slight stumble and Phil’s shoulder bumps against Dan’s arm. It was a titillating spark through the thick fabric of their clothes. Phil still felt it.

“What do you want to eat for dinner?”

Dan asks that as per usual, whenever they reached the half way mark between home and work he would ask and the response from Phil was always the same. “Anything”

And so, Dan would usually pick, either Asian or Mexican, usually Asian because he liked those little pastries filled with pork.

They would stop for it on the way home and the owner would look Dan up and down like he was going to start throwing things at any moment. It would take ten to fifteen minutes to cook the food and Phil and Dan would stand together shoulder to shoulder while they waited.

They would get their food and then they would head home. Once their they would each in the kitchen, splitting boxes, Phil would give most of the meat to Dan since he liked it better. They would eat in silence, or minimal conversation. Sometimes Phil would do something, and Dan would smile, other times Phil would bang his hand on something and Dan would frown and mutter something about Phil being clumsy.

Another bruise, Dan didn’t like the look of them on Phil’s skin.

After eating they would clean up and then wash up, Phil would get ready for bed while Dan lounged on the couch pretending to be interested in whatever it was that was playing on tv.

Sports made in clear that Dan wasn’t paying attention at all.

Phil would finish getting ready for bed and walk back into the front, he doesn’t know why he felt it necessary to tell Dan that he was finally heading in but it seemed like the right thing to do.

Dan wouldn’t come to bed at the same time as Phil, it would take hours and sometimes Phil would fall asleep in between the wait but eventually he would feel the shift of the mattress and Dan’s heavy body crashing down next to his.

And Phil wasn’t too sure why they slept like this, but it had been this way ever since Dan started staying here, they would be separated at first but then slowly, and with a bit of effort on both their parts they would move together, and Dan would suck Phil into him and eclipse his body with his mass.

It was nicer than it sounds, and Phil admittedly looked forward to this part every night. Dan was so heavy and safe, and Phil felt like he was in another world inside of his arms. A world that wasn’t as frightening, or large.

Eventually they both would drift off, and in those brief moments it would be sweet and tranquil, and nothing was wrong. It would stay that way through the night as well, but eventually dawn would break through the blinds and it would be morning.

And then a whole new scary day would start all over again.


	6. Pound

If Dan were to be completely honest, (Which he never really was as being completely honest meant being completely transparent and that was something that Dan found extremely difficult, but at least for the sake of this internal conversation with himself, he supposed he would try to be today) he didn't have a fucking clue what he was even doing.­­

In general there were very few things he knew how to do very well as anyone with eyes could probably tell. He didn't know how to tackle new tasks very well for example.

  
Like being with Phil.

  
Well not Phil in particular. Phil was very easy, simple. Dan hadn't any clue if there was a time when he had felt more sure of a person or their intentions. Phil seemed to wear all of his emotions on his sleeve, he spoke every word with genuine openness and honesty. He was made out of a type of kindness that Dan couldn't really explain.

  
If he had to find a sensation close enough to pin it to he would say Phil was like standing in the sun. The dark haired creature had a personality like a sunny meadow, spring time were flowers bloomed, the chirping of birds in the distance, calm, tranquil.

  
Dan thought back hard, but he wasn't even sure if even his soft mother ever had that same kindness, love yes. In her own way she had loved him as any mother loved their cub, a task he often admired her for because he imagined it had to be so difficult to do so.

  
Dan himself didn't understand it. His own bones were made frigid cold like artic winters. Sometimes Dan found it hard not to move a little closer to Phil just to steal some of his sunlight and warm his bones.

  
Dan hadn't the slightest clue on how to deal with these new feelings. This was his first....his only relationship. If one could call it a relationship, he couldn't really. It was more of a agreement of sorts as all relations between their kind was. An understanding that Phil needed Dan now and so Dan stayed.

  
Phil after all, was very in need of cover from all the other monsters that also had the idea of basking in his sunlight.

  
It wasn't a obligation as much as it was only logical to stay with Phil. Like a sentinel, a guard dog. It felt right, instinctual just to stay with him and protect him from harm. Maybe a little selfish too, if Dan were honest, because Phil was warm and kind and nice to him in a way Dan did not deserve.

  
And also, there was a big part of Dan that just wanted to stay and make home out of him because his instincts told him to do such things. It was like a strange itch in his gut, twisting at his insides and making them feel raw until he gave in and ran to the sunlight again.

  
He knew it was just a side effect of fucking Phil during his heat, logically Dan could rationalize it away. He could list it off as one of the reasons that he wanted Phil. Still, that didn't mean he didn't feel, deep in his gut. The unstable feeling of longing.

  
Dan thinks he wants to wear the claim he had on Phil like second skin for as long as he breaths, he has for months now and that only has made Dan's longing worse. The sweetness that Phil's virginity had been, mixed with the raw warmth of his heat was like some kind of drug.

  
Dan thinks of that night they had met sometimes in passing and in the depths of his sex driven mind he want it again. The warm softness that had been Phil. Dan wants to fuck him, in the worst way.

  
He knew Phil would let him too, because Phil was gentle and trusting like that. Because Phil was naive and eager to please. And with that he could already tell being with Phil would be the biggest test to his self-control and strength then anything else in his life has ever been.

  
He hasn't been back to his apartment in weeks, he doesn't think he'll ever go back at this rate. Even if he really should. If anything he should stop paying the rent when he wasn't even spending any of his nights there anymore.

  
Phil's place was different, albeit cheap and dysfunctional. He had stuff everywhere, plants and figurines and stuffed pillows and pictures of his bright eyed and horned family. He had clutter around every corner and the smell of baked goods in the air. Candles and a junk drawer and a dent in his coffee table where he had accidental hit his knee on it one too many times.

  
On the weekends that Dan worked late nights and Phil stayed home he had dinner cooked for him when he got back, usually something easy and bland like spaghetti or grilled chicken but food for him nonetheless.

  
Phil had made himself a home built on warmth and care and Dan wants to be back there.

  
He was on his way back there now. Walking down the near empty street in the dead of winter. He had just gotten off from work and he couldn't be more then eager to be away from it.  
A bundle of fresh winter daisies tied together at the stems by a delicate blue ribbon was clenched in his gloveless hand, held tight by blue tinted fingers which oddly nearly matched the ribbon. He wasn't really too sure how he had come to have them, he had been passing by a store and saw them in the window amd for some reason he had found himself stopping in front of the shop and walking inside of it.

  
It was intented to be a gift for Phil the moment he saw it, that was as much as Dan knew. It was the first real gift Dan has ever bought for someone.

  
Why? Dan simple had the thought that they reminded him of Phil.

  
Soft, pale white and innocent. The blue ribbon for his eyes.

Dan knew it was his animal instincts kicking in again, his need to gift Phil with things in order to please him. Some strange and unusual play at courtship that was deep within him. He didn't really argue with it as he didn't really see it as a problem. If only a bit strange to crave a bit too badly to want to give Phil something so pretty.

  
When Dan arrives back at Phil's the dark hair man is standing in the kitchen over a boiling pot of water. The room smells like warm tomato paste and Dan reckons they were having pasta again tonight.

  
Dan doesn't make a sound of greeting but Phil must of heard him coming because he turns around. When he does the first thing Dan thinks to do is shove the flowers at him.  
Phil didn't even seem to begin to understand it, he stood there for what felt like days looking down at the flowers and contemplating why he was receiving the gift in the first place. It was sweet and kind and not at all like Dan to do. He was self-defined as a petty and selfish creature. Precious with his time, it had seemed unlikely that he gives some if any amount of care into thinking of others. At least that is what Dan assumed Phil to think.

  
Nonetheless Phil seemed to like a gift so sweet.

  
"Thank you"

  
Dan feels knots form in his stomach, something akin to anxiety but nothing he felt quiet as strongly before. He realizes as he sees Phil accept the gift that he had been scared that he wouldn't and feels ridiculous for that.

  
"You're welcome"

  
They stand there for a little bit in this awkward silence. A little bit consuming if Dan were completely honest. A little flutter of warmth though, and Dan could spot the tinge of red that had come to rest on the soft space of Phil's cheeks. He smells shy and nervous, but also happy.

  
Dan realizes that he sort of adored Phil's happy face and thought that maybe if he brought him more gifts he could see it again.

  
Phil goes to grab a vase from a cupboard above the sink and fill it with water, he places the flowers inside and sets the vase on the table, he stands there admiring them there for a second before the water in the pot begins to sizzle and he is forced back to the stove top.

  
Dan goes to the bedroom to take off his shoes and drop his bag on the nightstand and then heads back to the kitchen to be where Phil was, because in all honest Dan didn't want to be anywhere else at the moment.

  
He supposed standing there and thinking that answered his questions from earlier, he didn't necessarily know what he was doing here or if he was really doing this whole mating thing right but he did know this is where he should be and so he simply was here. Not just because it was a necessity, but because this was where he wanted to be.

  
"Dan"

  
And the way that Phil says his name, kind and gentle, like Dan was something good and someone he wanted to talk to. It made him...warm.

  
"Yes"

  
Food was almost done now, Phil was pulling out the drainer now and turning off the stove, Dan automatically goes to help, he didn't want Phil to burn himself on the water, he had done so, so many times before. "I'll do that" He says, grabbing the pot from the stove and moving towards the sink where Phil had placed the drainer. Phil lets him without much thought.

  
"Okay"

  
"What were you going to ask?" Dan asked as he poured.

  
Phil had been busy mixing the sauce, he must have forgotten he had started to say something, he does that sometimes. Dan often finds it amusing.  
"Oh,,,Um"

  
He sounds hesitant now, shy, and as Dan looks up from the steaming noodles in the sink he sees that red across Phil's face again and a small part of his insides purrs.

  
"What?"

  
"Tomorrow we both have the day off right? Well I was just wondering if we can go do something together, like dinner or the movies"

  
"go out...willingly?" Dan had never really thought of the idea, if he were honest he had never really liked going outside or being in public generally. It never really ended well for him when he did.

  
What was curious was that Phil brought it up like it was something that he honestly really wanted to do, and has wanted to do for a while and that made sense as for the past few months all they had really done together is stay inside and eat. Dan had been okay with that, as he liked being a homebody.

  
Phil, maybe wasn't so much.

  
And as if sensing his hesitation Phil beings to backtrack. "Or maybe not....staying in is good too!"

  
Dan could see his disappointment though, clear as day and it makes that twisting feeling come back to his gut, he feels he had done something wrong, crushed something in Phil similar to hope and that felt wrong. He didn't want to go out honestly, he hated the outside, much preferred the safe inside, more importantly Phil's safe inside, but he couldn't deny that he wanted to be around Phil and if Phil actively wanted to go out and do something that involved him then he should be more then willing.

  
In fact he was more then willing, as long as the sunshine would be there.

  
"Okay" He says, brushing Phil's hesitation aside, deciding that it would be a trial, but worth it if it was what Phil wanted.

  
Phil seemed dumbfounded, shocked that Dan agreed so willingly.

  
Dan moves closer with with dry noodles and dump them into the pan of sauce while Phil was distracted.

  
"Are you sure?" Phil finally utters as Dan takes the wooden spoon from his hand, gentle, always gentle and begins to mix in the noodles with the sauce.

  
"Why not?" Dan replies with a shrug, surer now then he had been before as he stands by Phil's ever presence of warmth and soaks in his happiness. "We'll go eat or go watch a movie or something. It will be fine"

  
As Dan speaks he could see from the corner of his eye a small smile breaking out on Phil's face, and in the back of his mind he knows that this is the right choice. And being here with Phil was the right choice.

  
If nothing else, at least Dan would be lost but warm here.


End file.
